Jesse S. Mitchell
part 4 here
part 4 here
And so bad news had obliterated his mind. After he was dismissed and after his body
began to move again, he shot out the front double doors of the school like
cannonball, knocking down anything that stood in his direct path. Rolling through the world with the explosive
force of some random rebellious and ricocheting bullet, gone off too soon,
immature and reckless. He slid on the
ice in spots but never fell down. Burst
across the highway in front of the school, never turning his head to see the
traffic that was coming but he wasn’t hit, the cars skidding and screeching to
a halt, the drivers angrily but correctly accusing him of having lost his
mind.
He didn’t know entirely where he was running to, but he did
know it wasn’t to home. He definitely
wasn’t going home first thing. What if
his mother didn’t know? He wasn’t going
to be the person to tell her. Oh
no. And what if she had already heard,
which was much more likely? He knew he
couldn’t look into those eyes, those moon-shaped eyes, all swollen and
tear-stained. He would break right in
half and then into halves again and then into two million little pieces; shards
of him would get so displaced, he would never get himself back together
again. And the same for his mother. The two of them, sharing sensibilities, both
so quiet, so sensitive, thin-skinned, apt to disappear or shatter away at
anytime anyway, now they would just feed off of each other and they would die,
die away from this world and live no more, two wide open eyed corpses slowly
marching themselves to the graveyard.
Now, he would stay outside.
Go out into the woods and watch the animals, watch for the giant, listen
to the hunters squirrel or goose hunting, casual blasts from shotguns hills
away, distant sounds of calls, or maybe some gloomy chugging from the train
tracks, black-stained engines burning diesel fuel that stenches up the air
everywhere. And he would let the earth
move so slow, so slow, for an hour or two and then take himself home before the
grief wore off his mother a bit and she began to worry about him.
When he got to the creek, he saw it was swollen still but
totally frozen over, transparent blues and grays, transcendental silvers,
globes of pure perfect white, fingers of crystal bright reaching out under the
surface waiting for the perfect crack or splinter to grab and yank down on and
let the rushing water come fighting and gurgling up. He looked up the falls, all frozen in long
metallic strings, all threaded and twisted together, fine rope.
And then he saw him,
the giant, standing next to the falls, a bit in front of the cave. His back turned to the boy, he hadn’t noticed
Noah at all. He was raising his arms or
moving them or working at something, but he was talking. Noah couldn’t hear him. He quietly, as quietly as he had ever moved,
moved up the hillside closer and closer, his heart pounding, and even in the
cold, his forehead sweating. He wasn’t
scared. He was excited. He slowly began to hear the deep baritone
voice letting words drop out like lead or hot iron.
“And he rises, like dark seas in the deep furnace
churning oceans, breezes, and swells when all else seems to ebb and redeposits
on these barren banks the sparks and wine colored ever ever ever smoldering
embers of the ash blanket of life. Come like waves. This mass.
These hands that hold up precious.
Come strength. Do not be afraid. Do not be cold. None here are too weak for the freezing nor
the thawing either. Buried in the
snow. This mass.”
Poetry? Some spell
perhaps? But either way, the giant
stopped talking, even though it seemed he wasn’t finished. The giant started to turn around. His face was stern, pale, a very wide mouth,
a long frown. He looked about and turned
quickly, nearly suddenly, he bent down and swooped his face down to right in
front of Noah’s. He looked straight at
him. Stared. And stared.
Silently. Noah, now absolutely
scared, was too frightened to move.
Except for shaking. He was
shaking. A terrified quaking mess.
“Child? Yes,
child.” Not speaking to Noah,
but seemingly quizzing himself and assuring himself that this was indeed a
child of some sort. Noah answered him
anyway.
“Y-yea-ah, I’m a-a child.”
The giant looked confused and then looked even harder at
Noah.
“What do you want?”
“Nothing.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“W-what do you mean?
I’m…I’m scared. I’m just
scared. I don’t want anything. I have just been curious.”
“No. That’s not
it. Something is wrong with you. It isn’t fear.” He looked harder and harder, studying Noah up
and down. “It is sadness, deep
grief. You are sad. Why?”
“My father…my father j-just died. He was killed. A-a-an accident.”
“The Miners?”
“Yeah.”
“Um hmm.”
He nodded and stood back straight.
Looked over the top of the falls.
“So you know about the accident?” Noah screamed up toward the giant.
The giant looked down and nodded.
“Did you know it was happening?”
“Yes. Knew when
and also knew it was coming. I could
feel it.”
“If you knew, why didn’t you do anything to stop it or to
help them?”
“Why?” Silence
for a few seconds, the wind slowly whipping and curling through the trees, tiny
snowflakes caught up in the drafts, sparkling.
Noah noticed his feet getting cold standing in the deep drifts of snow
along the hillside.
“Why? Well, I
did. I kept myself as perfectly still as
I could, I tried not to move around, as big as I am, I can cause a great deal
of movement, avalanche, but I…I stopped and was still and…and I froze as much
as I could around me. Freezing the air,
the rain to snow, the ground harder, I hoped faster, safer.”
“You caused the snow?”
“I did this time, yes.”
The giant reached down and slowly but surely surrounded Noah
in his large right hand, carefully brought his fingers in and circled him, his
grasp gentle but certain. He lifted the
boy into the air and placed him at the very top of the falls. Noah looked around as he flew up into the
air, cold snow hitting his face, his cheeks red. When his feet finally touched ground, it was
icy and slick, he found it hard to stand up but when he got his bearings and
looked at the wide swollen upper creek, nearly a river, totally frozen over, he
was amazed. It was beautiful, long paths
and trees perfectly lining the banks, pure white and silver and ghastly bright
blue, so ghastly it was an unadulterated thing of absolute beauty. No breath, no breath, Noah could breathe not
one little breath until finally fighting through the astonished splendor, a few
minute heroic breaths did come…and go, floating high through the cold air, Valkyrie-carried-away
to Valhalla to hot-breath-fight again someday, the promise of brand new
awe. But now, Noah stood there at the beginning of some
wonderful icy Champs-Elysees with an extraordinary frost giant, wondering. Wondering where the stream led? Wondering how it had got the way it was,
planned or some wild act of nature, some natural force aided by the large hands
of the large giant? Wondering so hard
that he almost forgot his grief. But he
didn’t and at the moment he realized he had nearly forgotten his grief, he felt
the sting even harder and tears rolled down his face but he made every effort
not to notice them and not to show them off.
He wiped them away and turned his eyes back to the spectacle land before
him.
“Did you do this?”
The giant nodded.
“You froze this?”
“Yes. And shaped it.
Made it this way.”
“There is a lot of water here. It has been building up, like it did years
back.”
“Yes.”
“And if it thaws…”
“It will flood.
Drowning and destroying.”
“You could thaw it?”
Nods.
“But?”
“But, I have no mind to.”
“What are you?”
“Just an antediluvian relic.”
“But you can’t keep this frozen forever.”
“No, no I cannot.
I cannot keep things this way. I
can’t hold back anything for very long.
The world is changing, I have seen it before, the days get hotter and
they get longer and soon, boom, apres moi…”
“I
should get home.”
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